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november 9, 2010 kl. 10:29 e m | Publicerat i Skrivande | Lämna en kommentar

How long does it take to build a mind suitable enough to write a damn good novel?

And how do you build that mind?

Why do I suck?

I have great visions of scenes, yet I can’t describe them very well in words.

When I look at what I’ve written, I find that it’s not the same thing that I wanted to write. Something is lost between my mind and my hand. I lack the ability to express myself fully and freely.

When Lord Byron died at age 36, he had already written a lot of stuff good enough. So had Franz Kafka at age 40. Ernest Hemingway shot himself at age 61. What’s my point mentioning that? I don’t know. But I do know that at age 30, Hemingway could present himself as the writer of ”The Sun also rises” and ”A farewell to arms”.

This is how I sometimes present myself: ”I’m trying to write a novel.”

Maybe it would be more accurate to say: ”I’m trying to build a mind that can write a novel. Not in the Dr. Frankenstein way, though. I make experiments with my own mind, see? I read novels and I read books about how to write novels, and it’s all in here, you know. It’s all in here, and one day, I will get the whole story down on paper, and it will be a marvellous experience to see all those copies of my book piled up in the window of the bookshop around the corner. Yes …” and then I will just stand there with empty eyes, and people will slowly move away from me, go to the bar, order some drinks and have a laugh at me. No, they will not even remember me. An unpublished writer is something you hang your hat, your coat and your umbrella on before you enter the ballroom.

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